A Mischievous Smile

Here’s an interesting experiment.  Next time you’re in conversation with someone, listen carefully to each of the word used — and then select one of them.  Then, each time the person uses this particular word, smile.  After a few times — he or she uses the word, you smile (but don’t tell him you’re doing so) — you will notice something quite interesting.  The frequency that this word appears in your conversation — the frequency with which this person chooses to use the word — will go up dramatically.  Apparently, the ‘smile’ reaction subconciously inspires him to offer it more and more, thereby fulfilling some fundamental need to bring (what he believes is genuine) pleasure to you.

This experiment is not only interesting, but also — if you have the time to invest — a great way to mess with people.  Wait until someone uses a really odd word, something that they probably don’t use that often nor would they want to.  Then, on cue, smile.  Hopefully he’ll use it again and you’ll be there.  If you do this for a month or two, you’ll get him to dramatically increase his usage of that word, and eventually, he’ll make it part of his vocabulary repoitoire — and he’ll have no idea why.

Aside from such fun, this experiment also helps to explain a somewhat troubling question about one of Judaism’s great heroes — Moses.

The Midrash says that Moses had at least ten other names besides the one we all know him by, including:

Yered (ירד), implying descent.  Miriam gave him this name, for because of him, she went down (yarad) to the Nile to see what would become of him. Alternatively, Moses was called this name because he brought the Torah down to the Jewish people, and the Divine Presence back down to this physical world.

Avigdor (אבי גדור), master of the fence. According to the Yalkut Me’am Loez, he was called this (by his grandfather, Kehat), because “since Moses’ birth, G‑d has fenced in Pharaoh, not allowing him to continue his decree to drown Jewish infants.”

Chever, (חבר) meaning, companion, or connector. Either because Moses connected the Jewish people with their heavenly Father, or because he prevented Heavenly retribution for their sins. Some say that Amram, his father, gave Moses this name, because Moses was born after his father had once again joined his wife after having divorced her.

Avi Socho, (אבי סוכו) Father of Seers. He was given this name by his grandfather, Kehat (alternatively, by the nurse who helped Moses’ mother raise him), because Moses would grow up to be the “master” (avi) of the seers (sochim) and prophets.

Yekutiel (יקותיא-ל), from the root kavei (קוה) meaning hope. His mother Jochebed called him this name because she had hope and trust in G‑d that He would return Moses to her. Alternatively, because she foresaw that Moses would be the Jewish nation’s great hope.

Avi Zanuach (אבי זנוח), literally, “master of rejection.” Aaron, Moses’ brother gave him this name, saying “My father rejected my mother, but took her back because of this child.” Alternatively, because Moses would make Israel reject idols.

Tuvia (טובי’ה), implying goodness.

The Jewish people called him “Shemaya (שמעי-ה) ben [the son of] Nethanel.”  They predicted that in his days, G‑d would hear (שמע) their prayers.

Ben Avitar (בן אביתר), son of pardon, since Moses was the Jewish son who would solicit G‑d’s pardon (ויתר) for the Jewish people’s sin of the Golden Calf.

Levi (לוי), so named after the tribe to which Moses belonged.

OK, so here’s the question.  We see that Moses had a number of names, and many of them were given to him by some pretty important people, including his mother and father.  And yet, we know him primarily as Moses – a name based on the Egyptian language and given to him by Pharoah’s daughter.  She gave him this name when she ‘pulled him’ from the Nile river as a new born baby.

Isn’t it odd that the name we all know is his Egyptian name?  Joseph had an Egyptian name, too, but his family didn’t use it — and as a result neither do any of us today.  Yet Moses is somehow different.  With him, despite a plethora of other great options, it is his Egyptian name that remains.  Why?

The traditional answer is that since Batya, Pharoah’s daughter, gave it to him, and since she’s the one who saved his life, using this name teaches us the importance of gratitude.  Yes, we could use any of the other names; by using the name given to him by the woman who saved his life, though, we emphasize how important it is to recognize her sacrifice and devotion.

I’d like to offer another possibility, one that gets us back to the experiment we began with.  There, as you will recall, how we reacted to the words used by others in turn inspired within them a certain reaction to the words they used in the future.  Might the same occur with the use of names?

I think yes.  When I was in high school, for example, people on one summer trip started calling me Mad Dog.  I have no idea why, but the name stuck nevertheless.  I must admit, when people started using this name, I sometimes felt myself living ‘up’ to it.  So, for example, when we would be playing football, I might be a little more aggressive than usual, or perhaps even play a little rougher than I was accustomed.

Today, I sometimes play basketball with a bunch of guys who are much faster and younger than me.  They call me Rabbi — as in “Rabbi, quick pass me the ball!”  I must tell you that the name Rabbi has just as great an impact on me while playing ball as “Mad Dog” did years ago.  AFter all, once someone starts calling you Rabbi — as in, ”I’ll cover Rabbi” — it makes it much more uncomfortable to start cheating, fouling or otherwise play dirty (which, unfortunately, is the only skill I have that gives me a chance with these guys).

Perhaps something like this happenned with Moses as well.  When he was young, there were many names out there that people might use to call him.  Each name conjured up different feelings within Moses, and perhaps inspired him to act a little differently depending on the name used.  What might have his feelings been when he heard the name Moses?

For starters, of course, he might have remembered that it was given to him by Batya when she saved his life, when she ‘pulled him’ out of the water (the literal translation of the name).  Perhaps he then thought of how fortunate he was; after all, while he was ‘pulled from’ the water and saved, every other male baby at the time was murdered by Pharoah.  He was alive, but they were all dead.  Perhaps that inspired him to think how fortunate he was, and how much he owed the world.  Perhaps that made him feel obligated to ‘live’ for all those who didn’t make it.  And perhaps, in thinking about all this, he became more courageous (yes, I could be fearful, but I’m representing all these people who never made it); more motivated to do good in the world (because they can’t); more filled with a sense of mission.  

After all, when people are given so much – as no doubt Moses must have felt when thinking about how his life was spared – people often realize that they must in turn give so much back.

Might people have noticed this reaction (the ‘smile’)?  Might they have noticed that whenever they called him Moses – and thereby reminded him of his destiny – he actually lived up to such heady responsibility?  And they, in turn, used the name more and more often.  He becomes greater and greater everytime we use that name, so let’s use it again and again.

The lesson for us is obvious: We must explore our own lives and realize how fortunate we are as well.  That we are alive; that we live in freedom; that we have our health and our ambitions to improve the world.  And then, once we realize that we’ve been given so much, it’s time for us to repay the favor and begin to give.